At Queen Anne Elementary, we talk a lot as teachers and as parents about social and emotional learning (SEL). We believe that we need to teach our students so that they thrive not only academically but also socially and emotionally. Here is a brief overview about how you will see me address your student's SEL in my classroom this year.
What is Positive Discipline?
At QAE, you will hear a lot about Positive Discipline as we use it in all of our classrooms. Positive Discipline is a program based on the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs and is designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen and other co-authors, it teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others).
Recent research tells us that children are “hardwired” from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches. Jane Nelsen gives the following criteria for “effective discipline that teaches”:
Five Criteria for Positive Discipline
1. Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
3. Is effective long - term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world
– and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
4. Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to
contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.
Here is a link to a positive discipline matrix we use to address misbehavior.
Recent research tells us that children are “hardwired” from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches. Jane Nelsen gives the following criteria for “effective discipline that teaches”:
Five Criteria for Positive Discipline
1. Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
3. Is effective long - term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world
– and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
4. Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to
contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.
Here is a link to a positive discipline matrix we use to address misbehavior.
| mistaken behavior discipline matrix.pptx |
Kelso's Choice Kelso is a green frog. He (with my help) teaches that small problems are problems that can be worked out between kids, and provides 9 choices kids can use to solve small problems. Kelso's choices are: 1) Talk It Out 2) Share and Take Turns 3) Ignore It 4) Walk Away 5) Tell Them to Stop 6) Apologize 7) Make a Deal 8) Wait and Cool Off 9) Go to Another Game We will spend time learning what problems are small problems, and then we will learn each of these choices, practicing what the choice looks like with role-plays and reporting stories when choices are tried out at school. Kelso also teaches kids that problems that involve someone getting hurt are big problems. Small problems are not solved after trying two choices can turn in to big problems as well. If kids are having big problems, Kelso and I teach them to tell an adult they trust right away so that we can help them. "Tattling" is a word that is often used by adults in a way that is confusing to children. Kelso teaches kids that tattling occurs when a child has a small problem that he or she could work out with one of his choices. If the child perceiving the problem goes directly to an adult to get the person he is having a problem with in trouble instead of trying to solve the problem with the child first, that is tattling. | Class MeetingsIn our classroom, we will have class meetings 3 or 4 times a week. During these class meetings, students will learn how to give and receive compliments. They will also learn and practice self-regulation and problem solving skills and help make decisions for our classroom learning community. This will also be the time when we implement the Kelso's Choice social skills curriculum. The Peace PlaceAll classrooms at QAE have a designated "calm body spot" ~ a place that students can access when their body does not feel calm and ready to learn. (see brain-hand powerpoint for brain research supporting this practice.) During a few recent class meetings, we talked about how important calm bodies and brains are for our learning. We all agreed that it was important for us to create a space for kids to go when they were not feeling calm, and then we brainstormed where to create this space and what to call it.  After some great discussion, we decided to name it the Peace Place and locate it on the bean bag in the hall space directly out of our back classroom door. Over the next few weeks, we will finalize our ideas about what the space will look like. The ideas so far include having some sort of ceiling (creating a fort or cave feel) and hanging up photos of people we love and calm, happy vacations we have been on. |
Encouragement vs. Praise
The long range effect of encouragement is that it invites self-confidence. The long-range effect of praise invites dependence on others.
The positive discipline approach encourages adults to encourage the children we are teaching as much as we can.
Wondering whether the statements you make to children are praise or encouragement?
Ask,
~ Am I inspiring self-evaluation or dependence on the evaluation of others?
~ Am I being respectful or patronizing?
~ Am I seeing the child’s point of view or only my own?
~ Would I make this comment to a friend?
The positive discipline approach encourages adults to encourage the children we are teaching as much as we can.
Wondering whether the statements you make to children are praise or encouragement?
Ask,
~ Am I inspiring self-evaluation or dependence on the evaluation of others?
~ Am I being respectful or patronizing?
~ Am I seeing the child’s point of view or only my own?
~ Would I make this comment to a friend?
Here are a few examples of praise vs. encouragement:
~ “You got an A, I’m so proud of you,” vs. “You worked hard. You deserve it.”
~ "You did it right.” vs. "You gave it your best.” Or, “How do you feel about what you accomplished?”
~ “I like the way you did that.” vs. “I appreciate your cooperation.”
~ “You did it right.” vs. “What do you think/feel?” or "What did you learn?"
~ “You got an A, I’m so proud of you,” vs. “You worked hard. You deserve it.”
~ "You did it right.” vs. "You gave it your best.” Or, “How do you feel about what you accomplished?”
~ “I like the way you did that.” vs. “I appreciate your cooperation.”
~ “You did it right.” vs. “What do you think/feel?” or "What did you learn?"
Collaborative Work and Play!
Of course, a whole lot of the SEL learning my students do come from the natural, informal interactions they have all day long as they work, play and learn together!
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